We all know a least a few people who carry with them a lot of negative emotions (such as stress, hatred, hostility, etc.) and we all understand how challenging it is to be around such people. Different people have different ways of dealing with life and all that it brings. However, I find that those who are negative have a tendency to bring others down with them, either intentionally or subconsciously.
For me, over the last few months, I get the most criticism when it comes to veganism. For the most part, everyone I’ve spoken to is intrigued. But there are a few who are pretty defensive and judgemental, almost as if my lifestyle and way of thinking have a direct impact on their lives (K den!)… So I want to share some tips on dealing with those who are on a mission to kill your vibe.
- Flip the conversation:
A change of subject is always a good starting point. If you see someone going off on a negative downward spiral I’d say do a complete 180 on him or her by talking about something else that is positive and more engaging. That way they can snap the hell out of it and you avoid absorbing anymore of their bad energy.
- Try to understand their reasoning:
This is the hard one because you have to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Often, some people mean well but have a tough time getting their point across in a helpful way. Looking past their negativity is a way to deal with this issue. Another thing is that a lot of the time people are critical of others because of something that they themselves lack, or because of their own fears and insecurities, and so their criticism isn’t actually personal but more of a reflection of how they feel on the inside. Knowing this means that you are less likely to be offended by whatever is said about/to you.
- Avoid engaging with them:
Some people are persistent critics. If they continue with the negativity it would be best to avoid speaking to them. That way you do not get angry or annoyed at them for constantly being a vibe-killer. Personally, I believe that if people are no longer able to add value to your life then they should not be in it. Feel free to use the B word* if necessary at this point.
- Acknowledge when you are being negative:
It is so easy to point the finger and blame someone else for doing something wrong. However, what’s important is to acknowledge when we have negative emotions and to do what is necessary to change how we feel. I know that like attracts like. If we are happy, positive and upbeat, we will gravitate towards others who are feeling the same way. Likewise, if we are negative we will only attract those on the negative wavelength. We must take responsibility of our emotions in order to create something useful and constructive.
*b word = block. Sometimes you have to just options, block and delete a person from your life.