An interesting thing that I keep coming back to is the idea of accepting the choices that others make – even if I wouldn’t necessarily choose the same thing for myself – and not getting in the way of their decision. This is something that I want to continue to work on until it becomes second nature. The biggest benefit is that it will ultimately prevent me from being judgemental towards others.
A few weeks back I was having dinner with a friend and we talked about this. They said that the phrase “that’s great for you but it’s not for me” works perfectly for this situation.
One of the reasons why this is on my mind is that over the last few months I have discouraged and been critical of one of my friends who has started to wear makeup on a regular basis. My issue was that I didn’t want her to become dependent on makeup and feel insecure about her appearances. I know many girls and women who feel so worthless and self-conscious without makeup and I think that’s a horrible situation to be in. Nonetheless, despite my friend explaining her reasons for using makeup (which had nothing to do with her self-worth/esteem) I continued to dismiss it and underline my own views about it. One day when I went round to hers, she said something like “you’re going to cuss me if I tell you want I bought” – she bought foundation. At that point I realised that it really isn’t up to me to dictate what she can and can’t do in her life. Plus, I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable around me when discussing makeup or any other topic. I told her that I was working on my problem and that I’m absolutely okay with her dressing like a clown, if she pleased.
In general, when we have strong beliefs about something we want to share it with those around us. It’s easy to assume that what is good for you will also be beneficial for everyone else; I realise that this definitely not the case. I don’t appreciate people being critical or automatically resistant to the decisions I make in my life and I imagine most people feel the same.